I hope everyone enjoyed their extended holiday weekend - don't worry even though we are all back to work we have a short week on the horizon - just focus on that short countdown

"We are all broken, that's how the light gets in." - Ernest Hemingway

"Train your mind to see something good in every day." - Unknown

"When it rains look for rainbows. When it's dark look for stars." - Unknown

"The lion doesn't turn around when the small dog barks." - Unknown

"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses." - Abraham Lincoln

"You don't always choose what happens to you in life. But you do always get to choose how you react to it. And sometimes that's the most important part." - Unknown

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." - George Bernard Shaw

"Be positive and laugh at everything." - Alexandra Roach

"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow." - Helen Keller

"The darkest hour is just before the dawn." - Unknown

​"The eye should learn to listen before it looks." - Robert Frank

"The task ahead of you is never greater than the strength within you." - Unknown

"He who limps is still walking." - Stanislaw Lec

"I already know what giving up feels like. I want to see what happens if I don't." -Neila Ray

"You have no idea what people are dealing with in their personal lives so just be nice, it's that simple." - Unknown

"When everything feels like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top." - Unknown

"There is no real beauty without slight imperfection." - James Salter

​Stay safe out there && I appreciate ya!

"Whatever life gives you, even if it hurts, just be strong. Strong walls shake but never collapse." -true_living365

"And, then, she became silent; to silence the storm in her." -Lydia

"You ask yourself again and again: "what did i do to deserve this?" but never suspect that the answer is: "nothing." - loud world, quiet thoughts

"It is the simplest things I have fallen in love with. Watching the morning sun rise, laying down in a daisy filled meadow, or smelling the salt from the ocean blue. Yes, I am quite fond of all of this." - C. R. W.

"Don't let them tell you it's weak to cry. Even the sky sheds tears when the light has faded." - Sabina Laura

"It takes a big heart to wish someone happiness when you have tears in your eyes." - The Random Stories

We're are just going to skip the next one...it's a little too raw, honest, mean...in my opinion

"One day, when you least expect it, you are going to crash  into someone who is going to be so soft and gentle with your heart, and you are going to be so glad you kept it open. You are going to be so glad that you continued to fight for it - that you chose to believe it deserved more." - ThoughtCatalog

"I finally understand it was my love, that made you beautiful." - J. Flux

"Be grateful for every single stage of life. Especially the ones that break you open." - Leonardo S.

"Some women are irreplaceable. Like the things she does for you and the feelings she had and showed you." - Unknown 

Reading that quote reminded me of when the masters fell on the same day as the funeral and I still threw a small celebration party for just two people. Because even though it was one of the hardest days of our lives it was also a huge milestone. The lesson I learned is the same I've experienced in my past careers - all the good you've ever done is forgotten, it doesn't matter anymore once something happens that they didn't like.

"Being loved is the minimum. Make sure you are also being respected, prioritized, supported, desired, understood." - Unknown

"We all want someone who can understand that we won't always have good days and still be there to hold us after we fall apart. Love is knowing we all hurt and break differently. It's not always written out or spoken, but pain still has a voice." - Karnes

"I can't decide if I need an XL coffee, a hug, 8 shots of vodka, 832 chicken wings, or 2 months of sleep." - Unknown

"My dad told me, "You should never have to ask a man for something twice. If you have to repeat yourself, he doesn't care that much," and I kinda think that's a solid standard to hold." - Liyonmane

​Stay safe && as always, I appreciate ya!

Lyrical Mess-up

I don't know if I ever told you but I am terrible with lyrics and tonight was another prime example - I began singing "Ramble On" by Led Zeppelin to my parents and knowing me of course I messed it up when I sang, "Ramble on - walk my wayyyy" LMAO! There's like issuessss LOL!! Apparently I wasn't even close. But I have a tendency to sing what I think a song lyric sounds like and nine times out of ten - I am soooo wrong. 

Robb Elementary School Shooting

Please allow me to first start off by sending my condolences to the families of those who lost their children at Robb Elementary. 

Next I would like to send my condolences to the families of the two teachers that lost their lives protecting those children.

They are forever heroes in our eyes.

Now I am not a parent or a sister or an aunt or a godmother but I have felt the same rage as so many around are feeling and expressing.

I'm absolutely disgusted by these school shootings. I am disgusted by the injustice of the children. I am disgusted by the lack of fulfillment. I'm appalled. I'm ashamed. And it's sickening.

And what? Like words are going to make it all better. Take action - do something.

During the last shooting an announcement was made that there will be change. And the one before that, the same message - also promising change. And the one before that and so on and so forth.

Why were these broken promises not fulfilled? Over years and years and years?

Why were the proper safety protocols not put into place?

Why didn't we make any visitor at EVERY school - elementary, middle school, high school, and even college - be buzzed in before the door even opened?

Security looked through a camera and asked simple questions like who they were and specifically the name they were here for?

Why didn't we have metal detectors in every school when you walk in?

Why didn't we have a security guard with a wand?

Why didn't we have school officers? Dedicated school officers on duty at every school?

Why?

The possibilities are endless for the actions that could have been put into place and yet - here we are again - but this time it was elementary school students.

Do you even know what the means?

Do you know that these children were 10 and 11 years old and maybe younger?

How many more children have to die until a permanent solution is done?

Are you going to wait until it's a first grader? How about a kindergartener?

When are you going to say enough is enough?

Maybe this isn't being put clear enough to you - what if it was your own child?

What if a school shooting happened at a different school just a few miles from where your child was? I can almost certainly guarantee that after that - that school where your child is will suddenly be enough to have security - to have protection - to have barriers.

And I hate to sound like that but it's the truth - this may not be your child but it is a child. Our future children who all deserve a chance. They wanted a chance to grow up, to have their birthday, to go to their first dance, to compete in their first sport, to graduate.

Can you imagine being the officer on duty that his wife was one of the slain teachers? Can you imagine rushing to do your job and praying the whole way there it wasn't her - to find that your spouses life has been lost? Over something that was said to be taken care of years ago - that this would never happen again and it continues to happen.

Where was the initiative? Where was the change? Where? I don't see it...regrettably it comes only after the shooting has happened - then those schools get protection.

How about a proactive approach instead of a reactive one? After is too late. After the fact - is too late. It only prevents it in the future when we probably could've prevented in in the past.

These are lives your talking about. These are not just things that need fixed in a city oh lets put it on the back burner right now. NO! This is something that should've been taken care of in every school a long time ago and there is simply no excuse. We are forced to pay for all sorts of things but not for something as serious as this? This needs to be our focal point. Did you hear the number of schools that this has happened to already just this year? And we are not even six months in yet. 

The blood is on your hands. For the lack of compassion. For the lack of detail. For the lack of planning. For the lack of doing.

And I swear to God if I hear one more time that the shooter was someone being bullied. Open your eyes! If you look back at almost every school shooting it's mostly because they were bullied and guess how they handle it? They come to school with a loaded gun and start killing.

Why are we not stopping the bullying? As adults why are we not saying something? Why are these kids - no matter who they are - who their parents are - whatever the case may be - why are we not persuading these kids to stop?

You cannot tell me it goes completely unheard and unseen by every single person? Every set of eyes, every set of ears. Get the heck out of here!

Maybe we need to do a better job at helping our teachers. Our teachers are dying over this, literally. And they are just trying to do their job. I don't know if this is a thing but maybe we need to start sending the counselors out to do rounds - if they don't already - talk to students about bullying, more often than you already do. Start asking questions if they've seen bullying happening and by whom? As an adult we obviously are not going to repeat who said what. But those children will be pulled in, they will be punished, their parents will be pulled in, they will be lectured. And if they don't know want their children to attend your school anymore because you lectured them about their child bullying another then fine - let them go elsewhere but you know what - you might've just stopped a child from turning into a killer.

This is not a tattle tale - this is simply a precaution - a step in the right direction to catch it early or put a rest to an ongoing battle. It's about not losing your cousin, or your best friend, or your favorite teacher. It's about helping to protect one another and ourselves.

These children being bullied are humans. They are human beings just like you and me and they have feelings too. They don't deserve or want to be treated that way - like they are dirt on a rug. And some may argue why don't they come forth - why don't they say something? The same reason most of us don't speak up in a work place - fear. Fear of losing our jobs, our money source, fear of retaliation. Well it's the same thing for a kid - fear. Fear of retaliation, being beat up more, or beat up in general, picked on more.

That's why we need to come together and help each other. Everyone needs to be a part of it because everyone needs to be a part of it - it's a big deal and a big problem. Begin reevaluating what schools have what. And then what do you feel you need to protect them. All of them. What does a life cost to you? Now double it, triple it, and quadruple it. How many students are in each building?

Show a list. Show a list of how many schools are done already vs how many aren't. Show a chart. Make a line graph or a bar graph or a pie chart if you have to. Then tell us why. Explain why. Why is this school on hold? What planning stage in this one in? Give us an update. It's our right to ask questions and we deserve answers.

You are leaving the door open to take our children. Our children. The ones we made, the ones we provide for, the ones we love. 

We need to all be protecting one another and just like in a company it's never going to work unless it works from the top down. Everyone has to believe in it and put the work in to get it done. 

I watched someone on TV saying to take the guns. I'm sorry for saying but taking the guns away is not the end solution to this. If you banned guns, if you stopped them from being sold legally, if you came to every house and took every single firearm that a person had - the killings still wouldn't stop.

They'd just get them as they are now - off the streets, off the market, from someplace else. That's not a permanent solution. That's not even a band aid. If you bully a child enough they will kill because they've been pushed to what they feel is their limit and now they are acting because they feel they have to or they need to or whatever goes through their mind and just like an adult - no matter if it's a bullet or a blade - when someone wants to kill, they will.

As gruesome as it may sound the reality is they'll use anything, whatever that can get their hands on. A gun, a knife, a hammer, an axe. They'd use a butter knife or a bread knife if they could get it to claim a life. That's why taking the guns won't stop the killings.

Just like we learned in school - you need to start at the source. Start from the bottom and shut it down. How do you stop a weed from growing? You don't pluck its head off and hope it doesn't come back. You don't break off the stem and think ok I'm good. You yanked the roots up out of the ground to get it to stop.

Intense, extensive bullying initiatives need put into place whatever those may be and you need security at all your schools. A buzzer with a camera - the doors needs to be locked at all times - verification when you come in, inside another set of doors (probably with bullet proof glass) - walk through a metal detector - have a school police officer with a wand wave you down. Then maybe have another school police driving around the buildings or sitting nearby.

It would be quick for kids to walk through a metal detector. But those extra five or ten minutes of going through the entire almost booking process of a visitor - that added time could save five or ten lives, probably more if we are being completely honest. What does time cost to a life? Where's the comparison?

How far is too far for a life? Well you tell us. Innocent children are being slain - at a younger and younger age and at unprecedented rates. 

And yeah it sounds like a prison and it might look like one too but it's our duty to protect these kids at all costs. They aren't always asking to go to school but they are asking to go home safely. They don't see or know anything better than that - than to go home and pick up their basketball, see their mom and dad, play with their dog, start their homework. That's what they want. They have that right.

A man who lost his daughter told cameras, "We just don't want her to be another number." 

Please do something.

And yeah maybe it won't be perfect. Yeah maybe even after all this it won't completely stop but it will significantly lower the chances.

Someone needs to start an initiative - a project - if there hasn't been one already. Hell I'd run it! I'd make a list of every school in every state. And visit each one to see what they need and what we have. And what should go where. This is how passionate I feel about this subject - is that me - essentially a nobody - would be willing to make a change. That's how strong I feel about it. And yeah does that mean every school will be protected tomorrow? No. But it's better than the alternative - taking action after the fact.

Adding to my prayers is Joe Garcia and as well as his an Irma's four children. For those who haven't heard Irma was one of the slain teachers who lost her life protecting her students at the shooting. Joe is her husband who later in the day after placing flowers at the school for his wife - died of a broken heart. This left their four children now orphaned. It's just horrific - absolutely horrific!

Special thanks to the man who is making all of the caskets for the children to the parents specifications all for free and a special thanks to the funeral home near the school who is also holding all the funerals for free.

Okay I think I'm done with my rant - I'm sorry! My head is pounding and I am just completely heartbroken for all these folks and not just for Texas but for every parent or family member that lost a loved one in all the school shootings. This was a trigger for those parents from the tragedies before. It was the trigger for the parents who rushed to their school to find it wasn't their child. It's a trigger for America and this needs special attention and marked as the top priority.

2100+ words later OYE! I'm sorry! I probably rambled too, sorry. 

Before I move on with the rest of my blog, all I ask is please take a moment of silence with me now for the families going through this tradegy. 

In other news:

A spider came down beside my head while I was in the bathroom at work. I wasn't ok with it. I couldn't scream, I couldn't ask for help - so I literally had to kill it myself. I was terrified. LMAO! And when I tell my parents the story you can guarantee I'll tell them it was a big one when in fact the tiniest one is too big for me.

Jurassic Park: Dominion

As excited as I am for the newest installment of Jurassic Park it'll be a little different this year than all the others I went to see on opening night. But I have to tell you that if you haven't see the trailer yet - watch it - it's going to be the most action-packed one yet! Holy Crap! It looks so good and I literally can't wait. Comfy seats, the smell and taste of movie theater popcorn, the volume of the speakers.

Speaking of movies Top Gun starring the amazing Tom Cruise came out today!! && to boot Harrison Ford has announced that next year he will be returning in a new Indiana Jones movie! Yee-haw!!

Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate it!

I read a quote that said, "It's peaceful when you're not interested in anyone anymore." This is so true - you find something so beautiful when you're alone and you're rebuilding. But for those of you who are still going through the stages and the motions here are some quotes I found that made sense:

Just remember:
"You deserve to be loved and chosen - not almost loved, or almost chosen." - Unknown

"The truth is that sometimes the pain will always be there and eventually you'll just learn how to live with holes in your heart." - Wattney

"I made myself believe that happiness was an eternity away. I know now that in order to achieve happiness I need to be okay with the sadness that might come along with it." - C. R. W.

"The way I care for people makes me wish I had somebody like me in my life." - Unknown

"It's gonna take a real one to get me to love again." - Unknown

"In the end it was always me who healed my sad parts." - Unknown 

"Once you realize your worth, you'll be embarrassed by what you used to settle for and by the fact that you once begged and pleaded for the bare minimum." - Unknown --> parking garage

"Don't get too comfortable." - Unknown

"Somewhere in between wanting to be independent and tired of doing man shit all the time." - Unknown --> the shitty jobs && like thirty bushes

"No female ever wants to go through a time in her life where she is teaching the man she loves how she wants to be treated and how she deserves to be treated. She wants a man who already knows these things and shows it through his actions." - Unknown --> take notes if you don't know

Last night my parents watched the revamp of Firestarter which originally starred Drew Barrymore back its day.

I had to admit even though I had watched mostly horror films growing up and basically my whole adult life I had never seen the original.

My parents were of course really into it because of their history with the familiar film.

After it ended Peacock brought up a slideshow of movies that would be recommended to us based on what we just watched.

In the lineup was what I thought was a Chucky film I had never seen. (which seemed impossible to me at the time)

Here it was the Chucky TV Show that they came out with!

And although it was late and I could've fallen asleep at anytime I stayed up to watch as much as I could.

It's really good.

I am only into episode three of the first season but I really like it!!

So glad they made this!

Check it out if you haven't watched it yet!

Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate!

HOLY GUACAMOLE!!

Mama June and family returns today - first episode of season six starts at 9PM!!!

Literally can't wait - I really like watching their journey through these years!

"The healing is how you grow courage
to open your hand and trust that no prey 
will snatch your innocent heart again.
It's how you allow you wings
to practice being one with gravity,
it's how you allow yourself to breathe."
- Pierre Alex Jeanty

"I will never be good enough for everybody. But I am the best for someone who really appreciates me." - Unknown

"When you've had to be strong, for so long, you forget to see beauty in vulnerability." - s.a

"If you don't show what you feel, you'll lose what you love." - Unknown

"You often feel tired, not because you've done too much, but because you've done too little of what sparks a light in you." - Purposologist

"Leaving tables that don't make you feel welcomed is an act of self-respect." - Omar Hachem

"Not everyone has access to me because I want peace more than attention." - Unknown

"Some people are like Ads, just skip them." - Unknown

"Her heart is fragile. This is not because it can easily be broken, but because it has been broken plenty of times, shattered by promises from loveless lips, from unloving hearts and uncompromising lovers who only wanted to turn her into their ideal rather than become knitted into one." - Pierre Alex Jeanty

"I am not what has happened to me,
I am the sun that continues to rise,
I am the waves that breaks, only to reform." - Seyda Noir

Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya!

HBO MAX!! What are you doing to me??!

​This is the greatest thing since sliced bread and let me tell you why:

Not only is "Death on the Nile" available to watch for free for a limited time (which I have been dying to watch) 

BUT - BUT - THE NEW BATMAN is also available to watch!!

I think it ends in a few days so if you have "On Demand" I would recommend you take that offer while it lasts.

And of course, last but simply not least the new Venom: Let There Be Carnage is also available - we had already rented and watched that one a while ago, but it was so good that we took advantage of watching it again for free

EKKKKKK!!!

In other news - how about some more quotes while I continue to work diligently on Unforeseen's sequel

"If you don't feel like yourself right now, read this:

If you don't feel like yourself right now, it's probably because you are not that person anymore. Sometimes you fall apart and when you go to put yourself back together again, you'll find that there are missing pieces. Parts of you have been lost along the way but it's important that you don't go searching for them. You don't need to backtrack in order to feel whole again. This is your opportunity to grow, your chance to bloom into the person you've always wanted to be. You might have lost parts of yourself along the way, but you will never be incomplete. You are enough all on your own. Keep going."
-Seyda Noir

"She didn't want love, she wanted to be loved - and that was entirely different." - Unknown

"She always fell for the wrong ones, mostly because she's never been loved the right way to know the difference."
- Joseph Colombrita

"They say love isn't support to hurt. I guess I haven't experienced real love yet." - Kia Marlene

"Along or not you gotta walk forward." - Cecelia Ahern

"Teach your heart to accept disappointments." - Unknown

"She was gone before she left. Her heart started walking away long before she physically made her way out. She started leaving when you began to put her in the shadows. When you found more important things to invest your time in than being in her presence, when the things that made her smile became a burden you once caried for the sake of winning her heart, when her ears became a well that you dropped your promises into with no intention of picking them up and fulfilling them. She was gone mentaully and emotionally. Her physically leaving was just a delayed response."
- Pierre Alex Jeanty

"Stop dealing with men who think you're trying to start an argument every time you express how you feel. They still have some growing to do." - Unknown

"I need to trust myself. I need to stand behind my decisions." - J. Flux --> how do you always find the words that my heart breathes?

"I've seen this before and know how it ends." - Awaken

"I will teach my daughter how to love, but most important how to stop. They never teach you how to stop." - Unknown

"Your path is more difficult because your calling is higher." - M_Q

Robin Williams once said: "I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up along. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone." 

R.I.P Robin - you are greatly missed <3

"Never let the same snake bite you twice." - Dark_Liness

"The reason I like staying up late so much is because between the hours of 1am-5am, the world is quiet and no one expects anything from me. I could stare at my wall for 4 hours and there would be no consequences. It's so silent and calm. I love it." - Unknown

"Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end." - Unknown

Someone once said: "You know you have a big heart when you feel bad for doing what's best for you." <-- this is exactly where I'm at right now. And the struggle makes me feel terrible.

Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya!

Hey everyone, 

I have to be honest it has been a month and five days since I touched Unforeseen's sequel.

And I'm not proud of myself because of that.

Call it writers block, uninterest, or lack of motivation - I am not sure what exactly happened. 

Maybe the truth is - it has been a combination of all three, I don't know.

But what I do know is tonight, I picked it up again - we are diving into Chapter 17 - which is exciting.

I estimate it is about 68% complete as far as being written and then tack on about a month for editing.

Still looks to be on track for some time this summer but whether that be June, July, or August - I couldn't say yet. 

Once I finish writing it I'll have a better idea of when it'll be done done.

I love to imagine a world where writing novels was my job.

Fulltime just write.

It would be such a beautiful thing. 

I could knock out so many stories that I am dying to tell. 

But it's like they always say, "There's not enough hours in the day."

With any luck maybe I'll get a couple chapters done - oooooo, wouldn't that be exciting!!

I seriously can't wait for you guys to read it yet and it's not even finished LOL!

Fasten your seatbelts - it's gonna be a crazy, bumpy ride!!

Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya!

I was taught a valuable lesson this week and it didn't come until I pulled the knife from my back.

I learned that there is no love in war.

It's all business from here on out.

Here are some quotes I meant to blog-out earlier in the week:

"The truth may hurt but lies destroy." - Unknown

"There's nothing worse than realizing how little you mean to those who meant the most to you." - Unknown

"Nobody apologized for how they treated me, they just blamed me for how I reacted." - Unknown

"Change is uncomfortable but necessary." - Unknown

"I became unreachable to those that had all access and abused it." - Unknown

"Your apology needs to be as loud as your disrespect was." - Unknown

"At some point in life someone will love you more than you've expected. Be patient and learn to wait because a patient person deserves the best love story." - Unknown

"Be with someone who will take care of you. Not materialistically but takes care of your soul, your well-being, your heart and everything that's you. Not everyone can do it because it takes time, effort, and most importantly patience." - Unknown

"Don't put me in a position where I gotta show you how cold my heart can get." - Unknown

"I want love to outnumber the days that hurt outstayed its welcome." - Danielle Holian

"The only thing worse than watching you take me for granted, was listening to you pretend you didn't."
- Unknown

"I understand that some things in this world were never meant to be. If only falling in love with you could have been one of them." -Unknown

"Sometimes I want to go back in time and talk to the old you. The one that cared. The one that would never hurt me. And I want to vent to you about how much I hate the person you've become. And you'd apologize and tell me you didn't mean for any of this to happen. You'd hug me tightly and promise that everything would be ok. That you would never treat me that way. And I'd believe you. But sadly, that version of you no longer exists. It's stuck in the past, along with my innocence." - Unknown

"I hardened under the last loss. It took something human out of me." - The sun and her flowers when speaking of her numbness

"Nah we can't still be friends. We can't still be friends because I never started speaking to you with the intention of just wanting to be friends and honestly, I probably will never be okay seeing you with someone else. Therefore, I don't wanna be around when that happens. So, thank you for all the great memories and life lessons but no I don't want to be your friend." - Unknown

"I cried when I had no shoes, but I stopped crying when I saw a man without legs. Life is full of blessings, sometimes we don't value it." - Shakespeare

"No matter how good you are to them it doesn't mean that they will treat you the same. No matter how much they meant to you doesn't mean they'll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least." - Unknown

"Every relationship will get "boring" after you've been together for years. Love isn't a feeling it's a commitment to love every day, physically and emotionally. It's difficult, it's not always laughs, smiles, and fun. People tend to quit when it stops being fun, and they go look for someone else because "the spark is gone." No, that's not how it works. You want somebody to never give up on you, and love you unconditionally then do the same. Be the change. Love someone when you don't want to, when they aren't the easiest to deal with. When they're hard to love. That's the realist shit there is." - Unknown

"The best relationship is when you two can act like lovers and best friends. It's when you have more playful moments than serious moments. It's when you can joke around, have unexpected hugs, and random kisses. It's when you two give each other than specific stare and just smile. It's when you'd rather chill inside to watch movies, eat junk food, and cuddle than go out all the time. It's when you'll stay up all night just to settle your arguments and problems. It's when you can completely act yourself and they can still love you for who you are." - Unknown 

"On this journey I must learn to love myself enough to let go of all that isn't love." - Kia Marlene

Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya!