It’s Tuesday morning mid-December when I hear the sound of a hard rock song burst from the speakers of my iPod for my wake-up call. Three AM came all too soon. I was more tired today than I was yesterday. I found myself lying back down for a minute or two just to live in the warmth of my sheets a little while longer. Before I knew it my five minutes were up, and it was time to crawl out of bed and make my way to the familiar peanut butter bathroom.
I love that bathroom. Everything about it brightens my day. The color on the wall, to the speckles in the vanity top, and let’s not even talk about the mirror that I’m obsessed with - this is what I get to wake up to every morning. It has no frame to impress you; it’s not decorative in any fashion. It is simple yet beautiful, elegant yet modest. Ever since I woke up my stomach didn’t exactly feel right today. I was sick inside, but I couldn’t quite locate where in particular it was coming from. Thinking maybe some water would help I began drinking my ten oz before I pulled out of the driveway. About a half an hour into my drive I started to get a headache - crumpled up in my temple. How odd. During the drive I saw what looked like a shooting star. It was a fainted light that appeared out of nowhere shot through the sky briefly and disappeared into the darkness of the cloudy sky. As quick as it was there, it was gone. *POOF* Vanished. About a mile or so down the road another caught my eye. It looked exactly the same as the first and heading in the same direction. Another mile or so down the road was another one. But this one was different. This one was so bright that I could see the ball of light. There was a baby tail of brightness trailing close behind it with one dot of red. The third one did not look like a shooting star. But what else could it have been? It stuck out like a sore thumb above me! But it moved laser fast! If I would’ve blinked, I would’ve missed it. All three of them in fact. Was this my chance? Should I have made a wish? Three shooting stars in a row like that...that has to be something right? I left the wishes for someone else who may see the trio and really need them. Need them more than I do. As I drove on, I became so tired. I had the heat on sixty-three with the lowest fan setting blowing on the windshield. It was twenty-seven degrees out, but I was bundled up in my long coat and scarf. Making it an unnoticeable winter day for me. I wasn’t cold and I wasn’t hot. My body temperature was just right. But something about this...this moment...this monotonous driving made me want to sleep. Maybe if I just closed my eyes for five minutes, I’d feel better. Maybe if I just pulled off the road I could drift away for a little while... I didn’t know what was quite wrong with me. All I can say is that I don’t feel right. I feel as if I’m in a fog. Like I’m here but I’m not. Physically my body is behind the steering wheel but I’m not driving the car. Then all I hear is sirens. Nothing but constant honking fills the early morning air. Flashes of red and blue behind glimpses of faces I had never seen before. My body is moving uncontrollably. I find myself feeling as if I’m floating in midair, but I’m restrained. It’s all so confusing. The crisp air bites at my neck as if my jacket is hanging wide open. “Where am I?” I ask, attempting to say the words clearly out loud as best I can. There is a metal taste in my mouth. One I’ve had before many times. I’m dry inside; even my tongue has no remaining saliva. “Why hello there - welcome back. It’s so good to meet you - although I wish it wouldn’t have been under these circumstances. My name is Toby, and I will be your paramedic until we get you to the hospital.” I struggled to sit up when he said the words paramedic and hospital, but I was unable to. “What’s happening?” I began to panic looking around frantically at all the swirling faces. Through the blur I made out the uniforms of firefighters, police officers, and finally paramedics. Red flares lit up the lane of the turnpike we were occupying. Off in the distance was a man waving traffic past with one burning in his hand. “Let’s go! Keep it moving! Keep driving people!” His voice rang through the air almost as loud as the sirens around us. I could see his breath fly up in the cold air every time he spoke it raced the smoke of the flare before disappearing. “Easy sweetheart, easy,” a stern police officer said as he stepped forward to put his hand on my chest to relax me. “You’ve just been in a bad car accident. Your car broke the guardrail and we had to fish you out from the hillside. Do you remember any of this?” I began to sniffle listening to the horrific retelling of an ugly story that just didn’t seem like reality. “No... not at all.” “Can you tell me your name?” He asked with a gentler tone. Pausing, I realized it wasn’t there. Not in my head or on the tip of my tongue. “I cannot,” I said looking to the paramedic before looking back at the officer. “We should get to the hospital now. The ER will need to check her overall to make sure she isn’t suffering from any fractures or broken bones. No bleeding inside or anything serious of that kind.” The two men spoke as if I wasn’t lying there between them. I was just a body. A liability. “Right now, she is in a state of shock, so she won’t be feeling any onset pain until the adrenaline wears off when we get her there,” Toby explained to the officer. “Very well we will meet you there,” he told him. Two other paramedics wheeled me over to the back of an ambulance before hoisting the gurney I was strapped down to inside. “Do they know what happened to me?” “They think you fell asleep at the wheel. And when you did the car accelerated since your foot was on the gas pedal at the time. You had to hit the guard rail moving at a pretty fast speed to do the kind of damage that is done to it. And by the looks of what’s left of the car...I’d say you’re lucky to be alive miss. Someone must be watching over you.” I snickered silently to myself at that. “We have some of your personal belongings here, your bag and wallet. It was a miracle your phone wasn’t broken in the aftermath too. They don’t make these like they used to,” he chuckled lightly to try to break up the seriousness. “If this was my phone it would’ve been in a million pieces!” “Yeah...it’s pretty old. It always was a tank...” I stared at the cracked screen while he held it towards me to see. “We tried calling your moms number from your phone but there was no answer. And then we tried calling home too but got the same response. Is there anyone we can call for you while we head on our way?” The ambulance slowly began to pull out just as Toby finished checking my blood pressure, heartbeat, and hooking me up to a fluid bag. “My mother is dead. She passed away a few years ago. That’s not even her phone anymore but I keep it in there just because...” I turned away from him, so he didn’t see the tears beginning to form in my eyes. “I’m so sorry...for your loss,” he whispered as the weight of his hand came down on mine. “And what about the home number, is your father there?” I closed my eyes tight as the reality crashed down on me again as it had every day since. “Both of my parents died together...in a car accident...how fitting that I almost died in one today...the home number is their old house number. But it’s for my place now I had it transferred. I usually only call it when I need to leave a message for myself as a reminder to do something.” He didn’t say anything else for a minute or two. It was so quite I almost forgot where I was. “Is there anyone else...” Turning to face him I said, “No. there is no one else. I’m alone. I live by myself and have no boyfriend or husband. I’m the only one taking care of me now.” Tears were welling up in his eyes as he looked away from me. “You should try and get some rest. It’ll be a little bit until we are there. I’ll shut this overhead light off to give your eyes a break.” As the light went out in the cab I continued to stare at Toby in the dark. I could see him wiping his cheek as more tears slid down my face. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I could feel his fingers weave in between mine and give my hand a caring squeeze. Although Toby was a stranger, he seemed strangely familiar to me in an unfamiliar way. His presence made me feel comforted to know that at least for the ride I wouldn’t be alone anymore. Believe it or not Most of this story actually happened to me this morning - while the other part of it I made up - hope you enjoy! Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! Comments are closed.
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