an irregular rising and falling in number or amount

For me it's the fluctuation

There are good days and there are bad days

Days where you are positive and days when you stand to be not-so-positive

When you're suddenly optimistic but scared and unsure too

I think the lesson I need to go back to is not needing anyone else but myself 

Before this all happened I was good in my own shoes

I knew who I was and what I wanted - what I stood for

Then it seems somewhere along the way you put certain things aside to make others happy

But why do you feel like you need to?

Why must you always feel like you have to accommodate others?

I am all for meeting half-way "the compromise" as they say but not to always fold

All I know is I don't ever want this to happen to me again

I don't ever want to be forced out of my home for lack of income or a need to pay off debts or any other reasons that may arise

I just want to build my own life, my own world, and simply live in it

And if you want to live in it you're more than welcome but just know that you are stepping into my territory - the things that I have made, built, and overcome

I want to stand tall and proud knowing that I did this - without you - without anyone

I did it all on my own

And with that I'll be proud of myself once more of what I am, who I am, and all that I've accomplished 

Stand tall - like a giraffe :)

I love giraffeyyyyyssssss :)

I always wanted to get a picture with one at like a zoo or something or that's a thing ;)

And don't ever stop growing yourself for the better - you never know when all that will come in handy

But for now...I have to send the hard email to my kitchen designer that what we built together I won't be enjoying for as long as I thought I would be

She'll be filled with sadness - of that I am sure but not filled with as much as I am

Yet another hard pill to swallow

Just take some deep breaths and try and put a smile on even if you feel like you're drowning inside

Share your smile with others because that next person might just need that <3 

Stay safe out there my friends && as always, I appreciate ya!

PS someone is dropping trees around me...makes me want to open a window and yell TIMBERRRRRRRR   since no one else seems to be doing it HAHAHAHAH!!!