Years ago my mother's friend gave her a stress rock...to be honest I am not even one hundred percent if that is the right name for it.
She believed in these and believed it did help because it had helped her. I could be wrong but for some reason I thought the story was she had one in each room she was in just in case she needed it. She gave my mother one, one day and told her that when she got stressed about something to rub in between the palms of her hands and to squeeze it real tight if need be - eventually almost forming like a sort of concentration on it. My mother gave me that rock - years ago - she said I needed it more. At the time I was working an extremely stressful and demanding job - easily fitting 70+ hours a week in - and still feeling like it wasn't good enough - somewhere along the way I had reached a point where I felt like I couldn't do anything right anymore. And it was really hard you know. I imagine this is the feeling parents have when their baby is sick and they don't know what to do for them. They're a baby you know, you can't exactly give them medicine to make them feel better like adults and they can't tell you what exactly is wrong. What's hurting them and how they feel. You're helpless you know. And you almost feel like it's all you can do but to watch them suffer and to pray and hope that any hour, any minute, any second they are going to get better. They are going to take a turn for the better. It's going to be okay. It's just a cold. You know? Then along with the positivity that you try to tell yourself because quite frankly that's about the only thing you can do since negativity helps no situation - you tell yourself well this is all a part of building up their immune system - making their bodies stronger to fight off colds and germs and viruses. I never used that stone...that my mother gave me. I kept it with me at my previous job and now I have it sitting on the little stand that is under my desktop monitor so that I can always see it. But today I woke up with a knot in my throat - rather literally or figuratively I don't know - well that's a lie - maybe that's just me being semi-dramatic in saying that - because I know for a fact it's a feeling. That knot in your throat. It feels so big you can hardly breathe over it - you barely get a swallow to fall down over it. Yesterday's events were exhausting and I still feel my head in a fog. I fear I am not quite myself today - there just wasn't enough time to recuperate. Finding it hard to focus during work I grabbed that rock and closed my eyes. I focused on it. Believing that I believed in it - if that makes any sense at all - rubbing it between my palms all the way up to my finger tips, stopping occasionally to give it a good squeeze within each palm. After a few minutes of that I felt the lump lower and eventually subside. I felt the tears dry up from my eyes. And miraculously I felt a little bit of relief. Is this self-healing? I don't know. Was it self-meditation? I don't know that either. I am not afraid to admit that I don't have the slightest clue what each entails and what they mean or what the difference is. All I know is breathing has always helped me and you better believe I was breathing deeply during this. When I was done I was able to set the rock down and focus. The clouds had somehow moved apart enough that I could see the sun. And it was a beautiful sun because it's a new day. Yesterday was yesterday and I'm not saying to forget it by any means but we can't change it. But today is today and it deserves the best chance we got because we really were given this day. No day is promised to us. We don't know for sure if we will wake up tomorrow as scary as that sounds and so that saying goes let's live today to its fullest. Be kind, laugh, love, smile - you're alive today. Today is your day. I know it's hard to think positive when the negative is all around you but you have to try don't give up the fight before you have even begun it. Stay safe out there everyone && as always, I appreciate ya! Enjoy your Friday!! Hey readers,
I can't believe it's the second week of August already!! Fall is going to be just around the corner!! I love Fall - it will forever be my favorite season - the colors of the leaves falling off the tree - the smell of pumpkin spice - Fall decorations, Halloween decorations, pumpkin carving, pretending to trick or treat This week I'll be working on July's newsletter so I can get it out to you all! I have some good topics I want to talk about! On the flip side we got a lot done this weekend and last weekend - we got one of the stumps from the tree that had fallen pulled out of the ground and disposed of, we got the enormous pile of rocks cleaned up, we got seed and hay spread in three more areas that we need grass, we fixed a broken pipe that had been buried in the ground and broke from the impact of the tree falling, got the other crawlspace door replaced and painted, filled in the broken concrete with fresh, dug out more of the ditch that needed dug out - some really big projects happened I hope you guys had a great weekend! Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! Hey readers,
I hope everyone enjoyed their Saturday - it was a beautiful one after all Sadly, my husband and I attended a funeral today for his great uncle. He sounded like a great man and I only wish I had the pleasure of getting to see him more often. From the words spoken by others he was a kind man who loved his family and family time dearly. Teaching them lessons that we would want any father to teach their children: - lessons of loyalty and kindness - of trust and following through with what they say - putting your mind to the things you believe in and the things you want to be, you could do whatever it is you want to do in life - of working hard and of having faith He was a great man who will be greatly missed. His memory will live on in those of the family members that loved him and held him so dearly to their hearts and in the friends that cherished him all the days of his life RIP Pete - may you rest in peace, always <3 I was telling my husband before the events of the day that funerals seem to go by in such a blur or maybe that has just been my account of them. From the viewing - to the funeral home - to the church - and then the final resting place to be buried - it just all goes by so quickly. Almost in the blink of an eye. And you are in a state of shock during most of it - I think that is why in between each funeral to the next I don't really remember how the process goes because when you're going through it you almost can't believe you are. You seem to go through all the motions in a trance like state and before you know it the whole thing has ended. It will be forever a day you don't want to remember because it's one of the worst days of your life, to lose a loved one. So your mind just shuts that part out so your heart doesn't have to relive it. It's such a sad thing - death and funerals in general. We hope they are in a better place after this life. A place where they are no longer in pain or suffering, a place they are no longer alone, or afraid of the end The truth is what we already know - you only get one life - use it wisely - choose wisely and make smart decisions - don't waste it on anything, especially small, insignificant things such as grudges or fear or jealousy or any of the others factors that may try to stop you or hold you back from reaching your full potential. In the end you hold the power in your hands. This is your life, so live it - take control of it. Do good things not only for yourself but for others. Be kind, always. We need more kindness in the world. It's such a simple, commonsense thing to say / think but it's also one of those things that are easier said than done. I've always believed in smiling at people. Ever since I read a quote so many years ago about giving someone your smile because you never know of they will need it. It could mean so much to a person to have even the smallest act of kindness shown. We have no idea what someone on the street passing us by may be going through. But that smile could make a difference. A feeling of being noticed. Now the sad part to that is - is that we have so many people nowadays in the world who may take that the wrong way and try to harm you because of the act of showing some kindness. It's upsetting that it takes one person to ruin something. We hear on the news all the time about some young girl stopping to help a man who told her he lost his dog and she does it because her kind hearted soul wants to help or she believes the good in others, thinking she sees the innocent in them and then...she disappears as fast as she appeared before him. Just remember to always be cautious around people and to watch your back - not everyone is a friend with pure intentions. Allow me to pick you up after such sadness & share "a funny" with you :) this is my minor mishap Picture this: 1. Getting to church and having to urinate like a race horse but their is a line to the women's room because there are only two stalls 2. Generously waiting until the end of the line has cleared before entering 3. Out of two stalls - one is still occupied - so you use the other 4. The smaller stall has almost no toilet paper left and the door doesn't lock 5. You have enough toilet paper to make a small bird's nest leaving a bit to...you know conduct yourself 6. Stressing out the entire time that someone is going to come in and swing your door open because it doesn't lock and you can't reach from the toilet to the door to hold it shut tight 7. Washing your hands and all that jazz obviously 8. Exiting the restroom and finding no one left standing in the hallway talking... 9. Your husband is standing by one of the back doors waving you in 10. Upon entering - the clicking of your high heel shoes makes so much noise on the ceramic tile that it echos through the recently quieted church (where everyone is standing) 11. Every - single - person turns to look at the noise maker as they enter the church 12. You cursing yourself in your head even though it's not entirely your fault and then apologizing to God for swearing in your mind in his house 13. To turning to face the direction everyone else has no turned to face and realizing that the reason they all looked at you in the first place was because when you were noisily entering the church they were rolling the gasket down the aisle in silence 14. Double cursing at the realization of this and then apologizing yet again for my actions Yeah...talk about embarrassing. If there was ever a time when you wanted to bury your head in the sand like that of an ostrich once an embarrassing had came and went - yeah this one was definitely up there in the books. I could feel that my eyebrows were raised so high that they had gotten caught in my hairline when I saw everyone turned to look at me. And thank goodness that I was wearing a mask because behind that mask my jaw was completely hanging wide open. Oy vey! You can dress this girl up but you really can't take her anywhere LOL!!! Moments like these always seem to follow me. Have a great night everyone && ta-ta for now! Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! Hey readers!!!!
I am so excited to tell you that I just checked Unforeseen's ranking on Amazon and the numbers are incredible!! Kindle Store: #205 in the Crime Thrillers category #618 in the Romantic Suspense Thank you so much for all the support!! I really appreciate you guys and I just wanted to make sure I came on here and acknowledged you. Unforeseen wouldn't be where it was if it wasn't for YOU! So thank you!! And if we reach the top 100 free for Kindle I will most definitely post a snip of the line up of where it stands! Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! Hey readers!!!
Just checked my Amazon ranking for Unforeseen and EKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! E-book = #436 in crime / thriller category E-book = #1,237 in romantic suspense category HOLY GUACAMOLE!!! It's a drastic drop overnight like seriously! Thank you so much!!!! I am SO thankful for you all!! Hey Readers,
The e-book version of Unforeseen is now available for free on Kobo! Download your copy today!! && don't forget to spread the word - sharing is caring :) I hope everyone had a great Wednesday - two days left until the weekend! We want that weekend! :) I appreciate ya && as always, stay safe out there! PS - did you ever eat a sad meal for lunch while a co-worker around the corner makes something that smells like a five star restaurant? My co-worker did that to me today - chicken tender tacos apparently - it made me want to bury my head in the sand so I didn't have to be subjected to the sweet smell of deliciousness. I depressingly stared down at my meal and pretended it was something it was not while the scent of fresh chicken lingered all around me, purposefully. It was enough to bring tears to my eyes when the task of cutting an onion finally hits you. Ahh well - it was torture but we made it through! LOL!! Where are my Barnes and Nobles fans?! Where are my nook readers???! I received confirmation earlier that available now Unforeseen can be downloaded for free on the Barnes and Noble website! The e-book is available to enjoy completely 100% free! Download your copy today!! Feel free to pass onto your Nook friends :) The print version should be soon to follow on the Barnes and Noble website but I will notify you will this has happened! Thank you so much for all the support! & please don't forget to leave your honest reviews - bad or good - I want to hear it!! Stay safe out there everyone && as always, I appreciate ya! The link is below or can be found on the books tab at the top of the page and click on the words Barnes and Noble (I made that into a link) to take you there as well! https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/unforeseen-christina-casino/1139955596?ean=2940162202431 Hey Readers,
It is with great honor that I get to share some early news with you... Unforeseen is now awaiting publishing confirmation from B&N, Kobo, and Google! So what does this mean exactly? This means that anywhere from 24-72 hours I will be notified that e-book / print options of Unforeseen will be made available to the public on those platforms as well as it is still active on Amazon! By getting it on theses other websites I can reach even more of you out there and have the honor of getting Unforeseen into your hands!! Kobo --> online Google --> online B&N --> online only - featured in both e-book and print Stay tuned for confirmation from me when it has been uploaded onto these platforms! The next platform I want to get up and running will be Apple iTunes but I have been reading that you need a MAC to download the producer to be able to do that process - which I do not have a MAC - the article was from years ago so I am kind of hoping thats not the case anymore because at they point they would just be limiting themselves to anyone who has that computer so we'll see! I am still going to test the theory either later on this week or this coming weekend so that I know for sure! SUPER DUPER EXCITED!!! Don't forget to give your friends - coworkers - family members who like to read a heads up that this novel will be available soon on other platforms!! Thanks everyone!! Stay safe out there everyone && as always I appreciate ya! It’s now 3:03AM as I lay awake and am unable to get a certain moment out of my head...
Sometimes I have such terrible dreams at night and tonight’s was no exception. We were at my parents house or at least I think we were. The surrounding was so familiar yet off at the same time. Maybe it was because it looked like it was a mixture between our woods and there’s. Wherever we were are parents shed is on the property. As a child I had a hardened foam football that was smaller in size to a regular football because it was child like. Half of it was pink and half of it was green in my dream. In reality this small football was two toned but I just can’t remember the exact colors. I just know whatever they were they were neon colors. We still have that little foam football tucked away in a big old brown moving box where all my past outside toys are. Frisbees, footballs, rackets, birdies, baseball bats and gloves, even a volleyball and a boomerang. In my dream my parents are throwing back and forth one of those tennis balls that stick to the Velcro discs they have strapped to their hands, which I also had as a child. In the interim I am tossing the foam football of the bark of a tree and running to catch it in whatever direction it bounces off from. Before long mom and dad tell me to put a disc on so I can joy in with them. They then move farther down into the yard as I toss the ball to them. All I saw was I tossed the ball to mom and dad either went to get or he was going to pick up one of the spare balls but anyway mom and I notice him half hobbling over to the shed which was a close distance to him. Mom and I think he is pulling another joke since he’s always joking around until we watch him fall into the door against it, his one legs slides out from under his body, he grabs the door handle on the way down as he falls to the ground. At this point mom and I are already running towards him at fast as we can joke or not. As we do he sits himself up and is telling us he’s okay. But his voice is shaky and he sounds like he’s in shock. The right side of his face is drooping and he is shaking uncontrollably. He looks pretty pale in color. I notice he has his hand near his foot and when I look down I can see his right foot is crooked, not terribly so but enough to tell that something is wrong. I immediately tell mom and dad tells us that it’s his ankle and he thinks he might have broken it. He says we need to go to the ER. I don’t know why but in the dream we had a fridge near the patio but sitting off in the grass and I ran to it as hard as I could. Mom yells to me and asks me what I’m doing and I tell her I’m going to grab an ice pack for on the way to help keep the swelling down. I wake up. I never know if I get to the fridge, if we make it to the hospital or even if dads ok. All I have now is the assumption that everything turned out okay. And a much as I wish I could redream it to know the ending I don’t want to see it again. I can’t get my dads face out of head. The right side drooping as if he had just had a stroke, the shaking of his face and his jaw, the look of his foot, his voice and how shock-filled and not like his own it was. Dreams like these could keep me up all night. When I have something so close that it could be reality it terrifies me. And all I can do it lay awake and stare at the ceiling. My only hope is to fall back into a deep sleep where I don’t enter that dream again. Now it’s 3:28 AM - and I’m hoping that by getting it out it clears my thoughts enough to fall back asleep Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! |
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