Driving & Drowning

Although some of you may not want to go to work or wish that you didn't have to - it really is a blessing to make it to work safely. 

I think sometimes we get so caught up in assuming we are always going to get there and never think what if we don't make it?

This thought comes weeks after my husband and I hit a deer on the turnpike early in the morning and this being the first time I have drove that early in the morning by myself since the accident.

I couldn't help but have this thought - like what if you didn't make it like you planned to? In your mind you think it's a given - you're going to get up, get ready, and drive into work. 

But what if the day doesn't go like that? What if it doesn't happen like you planned or play out how it usually goes?

In other news

Reading Annabeth's letter made me recall my own past experiences during the subject and I knew in my heart it was time to share parts of my story that I never had to anyone before...

Annabeth,

Thank you kindly for your letter. I remember thinking to myself once that it was the equivalence of drowning. No matter how hard I tried to paddle up to breath air - I always ended up just taking in more and more water. I struggled to keep my head above the surface. I grew tired of doing it. Sometimes I just wanted to drown. Sometimes I thought that might just be easier. To not have to struggle for air anymore or keep kicking and pushing my arms and legs. And it doesn't make you a bad person to want to give up now and again or to grow tired - everybody does or has at least a time or two in their life.  Just try to keep your head up and stay as positive as you can. You're not the only one who went through these things and you're not the only one going through them now. I wouldn't wish your pain on yours or my worst enemy. But we will get through this together just like we always have. Whatever you need - anytime - you let me know. Until then you know where to find me.

Sincerely,

Suzanne