Edits, edits, and more edits && the 50% group

Hey readers,

I am finally on my last round of edits I have about +- 50 pages left - then about 4 more things I need to double check!

EKKKKK!! I am both excited and nervous! 

Once that is complete the only things that are left is the art for the books cover (which I haven't made yet BUT I have two ideas to play with!)

The only thing that sucks is that I have been doing some training with Photoshop and I didn't get through all of it yet - I was hoping to have gotten through all that so I could use everything I had learned to my advantage. Now I just feel like I am going to be winging it...

*fingers crossed* to still make this happen and be out by the end of the year this year! I am hoping to wrap up edits within the next couple days and have the cover art completed before next weekend. 

It's CRUNCH TIME! Like Captain Crunch Time! BUT with the berries because I still strongly believe that is the best one :)

ALSO - did you guys hear on the news about the crazy amount of tornados that happened today? I swear they said 28...

Thats insane!

In other news

Unless you have gone through exactly what I have gone through...I mean to the T...then you can't possibly understand what it feels like. I actually met a woman who went through what I did. I don't know how she did it - getting through it and eventually getting remarried and starting a family. God bless her. Maybe one day I'll get there or maybe I'll decide to never get married again honestly. A ring and a piece of paper doesn't prove anything. It doesn't make someone love you more or less. It doesn't mean you're safe from someone changing their mind about you. You're not secure in your relationship.

Thinking you found your person. Thinking you were solid and safe with the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. I guess another hard lesson is people can change their minds about you - just one day come home and decide hey they don't want you anymore, or you're not good enough anymore, or they don't want this life with you. They decide there has got to be someone better out here for me than you. 

The grass is only greener where you water it. If you never water it it'll just be the same or eerilly similar. 

I just know in my heart that God knows I was true in this. I took my vows seriously and meant them when I said forever. I wouldn't have done this. I would've been the one to stay and work it out - work through anything and everything. But it's like I always knew it was - my love was more and stronger than my partners. 

Hopefully you never have to know what this feels like. But just know what an unconditional love felt like at one point. Look it up so you read the definition of it. That is something that is no longer and would never, could never be again. 

Another hard blow was seeing the bathrooms...really the only remaining rooms that had been untouched through this whole ordeal up until now. 

Seeing them so empty...so lifeless...they're dead inside

That hit hard.

The final piece of the puzzle just...gone...done

Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya!