Holding back emotions

I wanted nothing more than to cry today

For multiple reasons:

- seeing the last of what was my bedroom disappear until there was nothing left but a desk waiting patiently to be emptied

​- rebuilding my old bed to put in another room of a different house

- what once was yellow was now gray

- the overwhelmingness of how these past two days have went

- how time just flew

- thinking back on not only these past three years but the past twenty eight

- looking at my parents knowing that I may not see them every day anymore

- my home becoming my old home

- a place where only pictures of me now remained

Out of the everything the two hardest things were:

1. saying goodbye to them

And when

2. I was bringing my laundry past the kitchen and I heard a loud thump - immediately smiling thinking of Lola...and almost saying aloud "alright mamas coming with your carrot" but it wasn't Lola...the thump that was always her...it was the sound of the refrigerating dropping the ice into the ice tray that it had recently made

That about killed me...

Along with the negatives there were a lot of positives - because we should always try to look at the cup half full and not half empty

I got not only all my dressers drawers organized but my husbands as well. Along with all of my furniture moved in the rest of the way. And I even filled and organized the pantry in the kitchen - leaving nothing on the counter but decorations. 

It was a good feeling to make so much progress in two days. Maybe that is why I haven't broke down because it has yet to sink in on me. I have yet to stop and think about it all and take it in since I have been go-go-going these past few days. 

Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya!