I guess I should've known?

I thought a little bit of distance would be good for us 

But I wouldn't even call it distance

I would call it - you go off both days of the weekend to work on your own hobbies while I worked on mine

I never once asked you to stay - not even when I was sick, and I wished more than anything you were there

I thought that would be good because we were always attached to the hip basically

And it would give you time to work on whatever you wanted and for me to do the same

It never meant I didn't love you or didn't want to spend time with you

Maybe we were just too independent for one another

Maybe we weren't mean to be

I had been so sure you were the one though

I wouldn't have married if I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with you

Similar to you - I wanted to marry once...for life

But I think I actually meant it more than you - and I'm only saying that because you would've rather flushed seven years down the toilet than went to counseling to see what the both of us needed to work on - it could've been a fresh start for us - it could've been something good - or it could've crashed and burned but we will never know because we didn't try

Maybe the drive in and drive home we could've done without...but looking back that was really the only time we got to spend together since after work you went to the gym and weren't home until six-ish then dinner and bed. There was zero time spent together...and I guess I really didn't notice how bad it truly was until I had the time to sit down and think of it

Think of all the times I was left alone by myself - happily waiting for you to come home...like a f****** fool because I loved you

It's just crazy to me like a life with no fights and very rare arguments don't survive? What more does one want in a relationship? We battled through every single obstacle that came our way and beat it - mostly the house LOL!

We compromised on anything we had to discuss. Isn't that what someone wants is to meet in the middle when there are differing opinions?

Or is it - one way or the highway

I guess I just still can't believe we didn't make it

We made sense to me...

Talking about us the other day was crazy to think that not long ago we were such a team...but yet it seems forever ago

But were we a team? Weren't we? But...there's no i in team

I made my mind up that day that I was gone too - in my heart I knew - it was done - there could be no coming back no matter how much I loved you

It's just hard for me to understand, I guess - even still *snickering to myself*

All I know is, God bless you if you ever get married again - I hope she's exactly what you want - I hope she's better for you than me. I hope she's a yes girl because that's what you need, you just don't see it yet, but you will one day

I hope she loves you as much as I did. Although, sorry to say - I don't think she could love you more though because I don't think that's possible. I loved you a lot. You were...my person...once

I don't ever want to get married again. The term makes me almost sick to my stomach when I hear it. It's almost enough to gag me

I did that once. I saw what it was about, and I feel like I'm good without. A ring and a piece of paper doesn't mean you're safe and secure in your relationship. I learned that lesson the hard way

One day your person can just come home and say the words you always dread you'll hear

And just like that you're over

I would rather be alone than have my heart broken again. Honestly, it's just not worth it. It's not worth the pain, the disappointment - it's just not

In the end the only person who is going to be there for you - is you - so build her as strong as you can

Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya!