How about some funnies

How’s it going readers?! It is almost FRIIIIIIII-YAYYYYYY! YEEEEEE-HAWWWW! LOL!!!
 
So, I do have a couple small stories to tell you…but I am going to write it out in a list this time to switch things up a little bit 😊
 
1. Parental reading

1. My mother finished reading my novel Unforeseen – she really enjoyed it – now I know what you may be thinking, because it was the same thing I was thinking, that she is supposed to say that because she is my mom…right?
2. WRONG!
3. I never saw my mother read a book so quickly before – she literally started and finished it within a matter of days – the final day she couldn’t put it down
4. I was so proud that my mom finished it – I didn’t even care if she would’ve hated it – it was awesome how into it she was
5. My parents wanted to share their copy instead of getting their own – so as soon as my mom finished it my dad picked it up that night – and read the first four chapters already LOL!
6. I am honored

 
2. Daredevil deer

1. Imagine my husband and I driving home on the turnpike today
2. We were in the fast line and the only vehicle close to us was a tractor trailer, which we passed in the slow lane
3. There was a woman driving it and, in that moment, I just thought that is so cool ya know? It is something I never really see and it was cool 😊
4.  So, we are driving along – we had put some distance between us and the tractor trailer and there wasn’t anyone in front of us that we could see
5. Suddenly I see my husband point across the dashboard over to a hillside on my side of the car
6. All while braking it fairly hard – as I look I see this daring deer come sprinting down off the hillside, into the slow lane, and coming right towards our car
7. I’m crapping my pants and bracing myself for the accident of course
8. The only reaction I had enough time to do was the one where you pump the invisible brakes on the passenger side – yeah you know what I mean 😊
9. Right before he crosses over into our lane, I think it got scared we were right there – so it stops and stands there in the slow lane for a second
10. Quick decision on my husband’s part – he begins laying on the horn – since we are not sure which way it is going to go – and thank goodness it ended up turning around and galloping back to the hillside
11. In the meantime, either the tractor trailer lady saw the deer when we did or heard the horn or maybe a combination of both but we heard all this noise behind us and we see all this smoke from the tractor trailer wheels and my husband tells me that the brakes are locked up – thank goodness as we drove on it looked like everything was okay
12. PHEW! So, we are drove off into the sunset with an undamaged vehicle to head into another day!

 
3. Hindered heights

1. After the excitement of the turnpike deer, we had to do our weekly Walmart run so that happened today
2.  I had reached a point where the next thing to get for the shopping cart was a case of paper towels
3. I always get the “you get twenty-four rolls out of it” pack since we use a good bit of paper towels
4. Well, this week that big pack was on the tippy top shelf and since I am five foot and a quarter inch (that quarter inch does count, by the way) it makes things a little more difficult
5. Thankfully there was one hanging over the edge a little bit so I decided to jump and bump to see if I could get it to fall down on me…excuse me fall down to me hahaha!
6. When that didn’t work I laid my list down on the wire shelf and was prepared to climb BUT before I could a very nice lady with two smaller children pulled her shopping cart over and asked if she could try and give me a hand
7. She said she felt she might be able to get it since she was a little taller
8. I was so grateful and she got it down for me
9. The smallest, kindest gesture can mean big things to people especially since I was struggling LOL
10. I would encourage you to help out someone who needs it the next time you see it – it is rewarding for yourself – it is a small sort of accomplishment to be able to say “hey I helped someone today”
11. By helping each other out – it’s a small first step to make the world a better place
12. You never forget the generosity of a stranger

 
4. Meat madness

1. Does anyone else grab as many shopping bags as they physically can just to try and avoid multiple trips?
2. To try to cut the trips down the stairs in half this is my strategy
3. Unfortunately, it has led me to dropping a case of bottled water, tripping on it mid step, and landing on my ribcage on top of it while on the stairs
4. Not a good feeling – I wouldn’t recommend it – please be careful when you are taking multiple bags up the stairs – because accidents can happen very easily
5. Well today what happened was I dropped a bag and then stepped on it since I was mid-step and fell on the stairs (I know this sounds like a common thing that happens to me since I just told you one story and now this one) but this doesn’t normally happen to me – any who when I stepped on something it kind of squished – I felt the squishiness under my foot
6. Climbing the stairs, I thought to myself watch that be the ground beef
7. Well let me tell you it was the ground beef
8. I didn’t look at it until I got it up the stairs which at this point, I was laughing about it, like of course why wouldn’t I have stepped on the most important thing we bought and possibly ruin it? Duh!
9. Knowing me I immediately start cracking jokes about how I am going to look at the meat and there is going to be a foot print in it – or you are going to be able to count all the toes
10. Anyone up for some toe meat? How about a meat foot?
11. When I pulled the meat out of the bag the one corner was smashed in to the shape of my heel 😊
12. Hahahaha – somethings you just can’t make up honestly!

 
5. That ends today’s festivities

1. Hope you guys enjoyed my short stories tonight
2. Some silliness as always
3. Stay safe out there
4. And as always…
5. I appreciate ya