Hey readers,
I haven't had a decent night sleep since last Friday when I slept in my own bed - my original bed. With my original hard mattress that was unforgiving in every single way. Now it's in a spare bedroom of mine - waiting patiently to be reunited with a body. I think the mattress on this new bed is too soft or too giving for my body. I crave the sturdy-ness with no dips or waves. Anyway I think sometimes that something as simple as sleep can be taken for when all of a sudden it's not as present as it used to be. Nowadays I find myself staring at a black at white ceiling as the motion light flicks on and off during the wrestling of my husbands bed rolling. At least one of us is getting some sleep. In other news... The first thing I always do in the morning is check my work emails after I clock in. I learned today of not one but two sad things - A co-worker of ours passed away this past Saturday. We were only just informed yesterday. He was 71 years old. I can't believe how much can change in even a day. I just saw and talked to him the day before his accident - he was jolly and cracking jokes as always and then that next day he just never came back. This news is still shocking to me. Nothing can prepare you for a death - whether you know it's coming or not. It's just a horrible thing. A sad thing. I feel for his family and friends and everyone who knew him. He will surely be missed. Rest in peace M.S. The other horrible news I learned today was that another co-workers father had passed. He had been with him this week - spending time with him. I feel horrible. Again I cannot imagine what it's like to lose a parent. No matter what age you are. I cried in my kitchen today after my parents left as the thought hit me hard that one they aren't going to be here anymore. I'm not going to be able to see them. I think part of it just stems from the day and me thinking of these two men that we lost today and it had me reflecting on my own parents. It tore me apart inside. Always tell those closest to you - whether it be your parents, grandparents, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, husband, children - how much they mean to you and how much you love them because the day may come sooner than you think that you don't have the chance to anymore. I know how morbid that all sounds but it's the hard truth. It's the facts of reality - that we don't know how much time we have left and when our day is. All we know is when our time is up it's up and we don't get a do over or a chance to rewind for more time. So in saying that - live and have no regrets doing it. Stay safe out there my friends && as always, I appreciate ya! Hey readers!
Does anyone else feel like they blinked and there went September already? I mean holy crap we are two day shy from being a week into October! What happened?! I mean I'm not complaining I love Fall. I especially love when October starts because then you know its time for three straight months of nothing but holidays and that gets me excited! Have you already picked out your Halloween costumes?! I must confess I haven't gone to Spirit yet - I haven't even hit the Walmart aisle of Halloween decor yet, which I've been meaning to. But by now since they put all the stuff out early I'm sure I'll the good stuff is gone - however don't get discouraged still go and take a peep who knows - something might just pop out and surprise you! Due try not to scream :) MWAH-HA-HA-HAAAAA! But seriously I feel like Septembers newsletter just went out and suddenly its time to do Octobers already! BTW - it's almost hump day so hang in there! (I always like to round up with time and days - makes me feel like I'm getting that much closer to what I am trying to get to) I posted a few pictures on the Photo Hobby page if you'd care to check it out nothing fancy just something new that I messed around with :) I will also be updating the New Arrivals page with the progress of how its going - feel free to take a gander if you like! Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! I wanted nothing more than to cry today
For multiple reasons: - seeing the last of what was my bedroom disappear until there was nothing left but a desk waiting patiently to be emptied - rebuilding my old bed to put in another room of a different house - what once was yellow was now gray - the overwhelmingness of how these past two days have went - how time just flew - thinking back on not only these past three years but the past twenty eight - looking at my parents knowing that I may not see them every day anymore - my home becoming my old home - a place where only pictures of me now remained Out of the everything the two hardest things were: 1. saying goodbye to them And when 2. I was bringing my laundry past the kitchen and I heard a loud thump - immediately smiling thinking of Lola...and almost saying aloud "alright mamas coming with your carrot" but it wasn't Lola...the thump that was always her...it was the sound of the refrigerating dropping the ice into the ice tray that it had recently made That about killed me... Along with the negatives there were a lot of positives - because we should always try to look at the cup half full and not half empty I got not only all my dressers drawers organized but my husbands as well. Along with all of my furniture moved in the rest of the way. And I even filled and organized the pantry in the kitchen - leaving nothing on the counter but decorations. It was a good feeling to make so much progress in two days. Maybe that is why I haven't broke down because it has yet to sink in on me. I have yet to stop and think about it all and take it in since I have been go-go-going these past few days. Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! I always knew this day would come
The closer it is the more difficult it seems There are so many things I'm going to miss out on So many years spent together - so many years of seeing each other every day Suddenly the walls are quieter - the halls run empty The only sounds that remain to echo through the walls is the knocking of the fridge, Lola's chewing, and the washer walking when it's throwing an off balance angry temper tantrum As sad as it is - is as exciting as it is A new chapter beginning while one closes I cried on the outside and died a little inside when I cleaned off my corkboard on my desk It was a hard thing to swallow Memories that had been pinned in place for years had remained unchanged but were given additions Old photos of friends I once knew and jobs I once held - places my husband and I had went to - rings and necklaces that I never left the house without Oh how the times change - how routines change - how people change The best way I can describe what I am going through right now is a Toy Story reference The when were Andy is growing up and going to college - they are showing his room through the years what it looked like and how it changed - more and more things disappearing off the walls - from the floor and the bed That is me - every time I go in my room more and more things are gone Before long there will be nothing left Just an empty room with a carpet And a house full of memories and photos I joke that we should have a sleep over party once a week but I know the answer is no - even though sometimes I kind of wish it could be yes No one ever said letting go was easy or that change was easy but they also didn't warn that leaving your home would be just as hard Maybe not for all but for some As I've been looking around and noticing things more I have come to appreciate the little things that for some reason I thought would always be there Time to take the training wheels off and to grow up Isn't it funny that whenever you are a kid you think that life is so hard and all you want to do is be an adult Then when you are an adult you realize how easy you had things as a kid and only wish you could go back Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! |
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December 2022
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