I saw on the news yesterday that a business surprised a military family with Christmas lights and decorations. The company came and decorated their whole house with over a thousand different decorations.
The family had seven or eight kids (I think eight) and his wife had to take care of him now that he was at home - and he was diagnosed with cancer twice since being back. God Bless them. So, to support her family she went back and finished her GED and was now enrolled in college working on her degree. That is love. That is what unconditional love is - for your family, for your husband. That's a partnership. It was a very moving story and with everything it sounded like they went through && were continuing to go through - they deserved this. It brought tears to my eyes. It was a powerful moment. Speaking of tears to my eyes - if anyone has ever watched "What ever happened to Baby Jane?" 1962 && "It's a Wonderful Life." (1946) - they were both really good movies but both tear jerking ones - so have your tissues on standby. I love classic black & white movies <3 especially because back in the day the movies were longer - they were two hours at least and I love that about those films - I wish more of the movies from this day and age would be longer. I want to end this blog by saying I am praying for all the people in Kentucky - who lost their homes, their personal belongings, their families, their pets. It's just such a terrible thing that has happened. And all the surrounding states too that were impacted by the traveling twisters that came rushing through. Mayfield and every other part of the area that got hit during the tornado slams - I am praying for you. Another touching moment that was talked about was Jim - who was a man buried in the collapse of the candle factory - buried under beams and steel, doors and more. He is a miracle. God Bless him. Just remember that no matter how bad you think your day is going - just know you are not alone - there someone out there - somewhere in the world - that is having a much worse day - and is feeling how you are feeling. But also know that there are miracles all around us that happen every day - you just have to look for them to know what they are. Even the small things are miracles. At times I know it can seem difficult to stay positive but just remember - today will end - and when it does, we get a fresh start to be better or make things better tomorrow. Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! It’s Tuesday morning mid-December when I hear the sound of a hard rock song burst from the speakers of my iPod for my wake-up call. Three AM came all too soon. I was more tired today than I was yesterday. I found myself lying back down for a minute or two just to live in the warmth of my sheets a little while longer. Before I knew it my five minutes were up, and it was time to crawl out of bed and make my way to the familiar peanut butter bathroom.
I love that bathroom. Everything about it brightens my day. The color on the wall, to the speckles in the vanity top, and let’s not even talk about the mirror that I’m obsessed with - this is what I get to wake up to every morning. It has no frame to impress you; it’s not decorative in any fashion. It is simple yet beautiful, elegant yet modest. Ever since I woke up my stomach didn’t exactly feel right today. I was sick inside, but I couldn’t quite locate where in particular it was coming from. Thinking maybe some water would help I began drinking my ten oz before I pulled out of the driveway. About a half an hour into my drive I started to get a headache - crumpled up in my temple. How odd. During the drive I saw what looked like a shooting star. It was a fainted light that appeared out of nowhere shot through the sky briefly and disappeared into the darkness of the cloudy sky. As quick as it was there, it was gone. *POOF* Vanished. About a mile or so down the road another caught my eye. It looked exactly the same as the first and heading in the same direction. Another mile or so down the road was another one. But this one was different. This one was so bright that I could see the ball of light. There was a baby tail of brightness trailing close behind it with one dot of red. The third one did not look like a shooting star. But what else could it have been? It stuck out like a sore thumb above me! But it moved laser fast! If I would’ve blinked, I would’ve missed it. All three of them in fact. Was this my chance? Should I have made a wish? Three shooting stars in a row like that...that has to be something right? I left the wishes for someone else who may see the trio and really need them. Need them more than I do. As I drove on, I became so tired. I had the heat on sixty-three with the lowest fan setting blowing on the windshield. It was twenty-seven degrees out, but I was bundled up in my long coat and scarf. Making it an unnoticeable winter day for me. I wasn’t cold and I wasn’t hot. My body temperature was just right. But something about this...this moment...this monotonous driving made me want to sleep. Maybe if I just closed my eyes for five minutes, I’d feel better. Maybe if I just pulled off the road I could drift away for a little while... I didn’t know what was quite wrong with me. All I can say is that I don’t feel right. I feel as if I’m in a fog. Like I’m here but I’m not. Physically my body is behind the steering wheel but I’m not driving the car. Then all I hear is sirens. Nothing but constant honking fills the early morning air. Flashes of red and blue behind glimpses of faces I had never seen before. My body is moving uncontrollably. I find myself feeling as if I’m floating in midair, but I’m restrained. It’s all so confusing. The crisp air bites at my neck as if my jacket is hanging wide open. “Where am I?” I ask, attempting to say the words clearly out loud as best I can. There is a metal taste in my mouth. One I’ve had before many times. I’m dry inside; even my tongue has no remaining saliva. “Why hello there - welcome back. It’s so good to meet you - although I wish it wouldn’t have been under these circumstances. My name is Toby, and I will be your paramedic until we get you to the hospital.” I struggled to sit up when he said the words paramedic and hospital, but I was unable to. “What’s happening?” I began to panic looking around frantically at all the swirling faces. Through the blur I made out the uniforms of firefighters, police officers, and finally paramedics. Red flares lit up the lane of the turnpike we were occupying. Off in the distance was a man waving traffic past with one burning in his hand. “Let’s go! Keep it moving! Keep driving people!” His voice rang through the air almost as loud as the sirens around us. I could see his breath fly up in the cold air every time he spoke it raced the smoke of the flare before disappearing. “Easy sweetheart, easy,” a stern police officer said as he stepped forward to put his hand on my chest to relax me. “You’ve just been in a bad car accident. Your car broke the guardrail and we had to fish you out from the hillside. Do you remember any of this?” I began to sniffle listening to the horrific retelling of an ugly story that just didn’t seem like reality. “No... not at all.” “Can you tell me your name?” He asked with a gentler tone. Pausing, I realized it wasn’t there. Not in my head or on the tip of my tongue. “I cannot,” I said looking to the paramedic before looking back at the officer. “We should get to the hospital now. The ER will need to check her overall to make sure she isn’t suffering from any fractures or broken bones. No bleeding inside or anything serious of that kind.” The two men spoke as if I wasn’t lying there between them. I was just a body. A liability. “Right now, she is in a state of shock, so she won’t be feeling any onset pain until the adrenaline wears off when we get her there,” Toby explained to the officer. “Very well we will meet you there,” he told him. Two other paramedics wheeled me over to the back of an ambulance before hoisting the gurney I was strapped down to inside. “Do they know what happened to me?” “They think you fell asleep at the wheel. And when you did the car accelerated since your foot was on the gas pedal at the time. You had to hit the guard rail moving at a pretty fast speed to do the kind of damage that is done to it. And by the looks of what’s left of the car...I’d say you’re lucky to be alive miss. Someone must be watching over you.” I snickered silently to myself at that. “We have some of your personal belongings here, your bag and wallet. It was a miracle your phone wasn’t broken in the aftermath too. They don’t make these like they used to,” he chuckled lightly to try to break up the seriousness. “If this was my phone it would’ve been in a million pieces!” “Yeah...it’s pretty old. It always was a tank...” I stared at the cracked screen while he held it towards me to see. “We tried calling your moms number from your phone but there was no answer. And then we tried calling home too but got the same response. Is there anyone we can call for you while we head on our way?” The ambulance slowly began to pull out just as Toby finished checking my blood pressure, heartbeat, and hooking me up to a fluid bag. “My mother is dead. She passed away a few years ago. That’s not even her phone anymore but I keep it in there just because...” I turned away from him, so he didn’t see the tears beginning to form in my eyes. “I’m so sorry...for your loss,” he whispered as the weight of his hand came down on mine. “And what about the home number, is your father there?” I closed my eyes tight as the reality crashed down on me again as it had every day since. “Both of my parents died together...in a car accident...how fitting that I almost died in one today...the home number is their old house number. But it’s for my place now I had it transferred. I usually only call it when I need to leave a message for myself as a reminder to do something.” He didn’t say anything else for a minute or two. It was so quite I almost forgot where I was. “Is there anyone else...” Turning to face him I said, “No. there is no one else. I’m alone. I live by myself and have no boyfriend or husband. I’m the only one taking care of me now.” Tears were welling up in his eyes as he looked away from me. “You should try and get some rest. It’ll be a little bit until we are there. I’ll shut this overhead light off to give your eyes a break.” As the light went out in the cab I continued to stare at Toby in the dark. I could see him wiping his cheek as more tears slid down my face. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. I could feel his fingers weave in between mine and give my hand a caring squeeze. Although Toby was a stranger, he seemed strangely familiar to me in an unfamiliar way. His presence made me feel comforted to know that at least for the ride I wouldn’t be alone anymore. Believe it or not Most of this story actually happened to me this morning - while the other part of it I made up - hope you enjoy! Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! I have always loved watching the movies set in the late 1700's and 1800's
The times where things seemed simpler and yes disease, death, and war were all around us but no matter what time period we are in we will always have obstacles and battles to overcome But it was a time where people danced, conversed, and loved Loved wholeheartedly Or maybe it is just because of a movie that's how it looks Maybe it wasn't really like that at all Women wore floor length dresses and hats Men dressed up in suits Faces with no makeup No hairspray or hair gel No deodorant...that part I wouldn't have been found of personally since I love putting mine on every day I don't know - something about how the movies portrays it makes it seem so much easier back then You truly loved and people saw you for who you are - and that was accepted by whoever the lucky person would be It wasn't about worrying to take off your makeup late at night because they might not like what they see once the eyeliner is gone Or knowing that your eyelashes didn't stand out as much the mascara was removed It wasn't about being tan and staying fit - I mean back then it seemed like they didn't really have very much to eat so that part wouldn't really be a concern It was just about being yourself - your plain Jane self - now there are all these expectations and standards and this and that But what happened to the way things used to be? Before we evolved into the way we are now - the way of trickery and harmfulness - deceit I watched a movie called The Christmas Candle the other day - it was from 2013 - it's a British-American drama film It will bring both light and sadness to your heart - but it's still worth watching in my opinion Susan Boyle stars in it - her voice is so heavenly when she sings It's about a pastor who moves to a town in England to take over their church - this place believes in a tradition called the Christmas Candle - where every twenty-five years an angel visits the candlemakers shop and touch a single candle which is then blessed - whoever lights that candle in the town their prayer comes true However, Pastor David does not believe this sort of thing exists - it seems he doesn't much believe in miracles anymore since having a tragedy of his own Throughout the movie it's amazing to watch the town and all the people in it - it gives you hope and makes your heart smile AND I would definitely recommend it if you're into those Hallmark movies (not that I think this one is) but it just feels like it could've been one - so this one is definitely for you if you enjoy those! LOL! Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! Hey readers,
I am finally on my last round of edits I have about +- 50 pages left - then about 4 more things I need to double check! EKKKKK!! I am both excited and nervous! Once that is complete the only things that are left is the art for the books cover (which I haven't made yet BUT I have two ideas to play with!) The only thing that sucks is that I have been doing some training with Photoshop and I didn't get through all of it yet - I was hoping to have gotten through all that so I could use everything I had learned to my advantage. Now I just feel like I am going to be winging it... *fingers crossed* to still make this happen and be out by the end of the year this year! I am hoping to wrap up edits within the next couple days and have the cover art completed before next weekend. It's CRUNCH TIME! Like Captain Crunch Time! BUT with the berries because I still strongly believe that is the best one :) ALSO - did you guys hear on the news about the crazy amount of tornados that happened today? I swear they said 28... Thats insane! In other news Unless you have gone through exactly what I have gone through...I mean to the T...then you can't possibly understand what it feels like. I actually met a woman who went through what I did. I don't know how she did it - getting through it and eventually getting remarried and starting a family. God bless her. Maybe one day I'll get there or maybe I'll decide to never get married again honestly. A ring and a piece of paper doesn't prove anything. It doesn't make someone love you more or less. It doesn't mean you're safe from someone changing their mind about you. You're not secure in your relationship. Thinking you found your person. Thinking you were solid and safe with the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. I guess another hard lesson is people can change their minds about you - just one day come home and decide hey they don't want you anymore, or you're not good enough anymore, or they don't want this life with you. They decide there has got to be someone better out here for me than you. The grass is only greener where you water it. If you never water it it'll just be the same or eerilly similar. I just know in my heart that God knows I was true in this. I took my vows seriously and meant them when I said forever. I wouldn't have done this. I would've been the one to stay and work it out - work through anything and everything. But it's like I always knew it was - my love was more and stronger than my partners. Hopefully you never have to know what this feels like. But just know what an unconditional love felt like at one point. Look it up so you read the definition of it. That is something that is no longer and would never, could never be again. Another hard blow was seeing the bathrooms...really the only remaining rooms that had been untouched through this whole ordeal up until now. Seeing them so empty...so lifeless...they're dead inside That hit hard. The final piece of the puzzle just...gone...done Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! After sitting down and thinking what the words self healing mean to me this is what I have discovered so far:
Self healing is a journey - a path that can lead in many directions When I think of this term three main components come to light which are body, mind, and soul Body could be changing the way you look Whether that be changing your hair color or your hair style - maybe even doing your makeup different or deciding to dress differently It could even be weight loss or weight gain if that makes you feel good about yourself Our overall appearance - something that will not only make you feel good on the outside but in the inside too Mind could be challenging yourself In your job or at a new job Maybe just furthering your knowledge or gathering a new one altogether Changing the way that you think and how you think of some things and why Soul could be a spiritual change or altering An awakening - something you feel deep inside yourself Something that will affect you on the deepest level of your being How about reflection? Sure that comes from your mind but that could also come from your soul Ask yourself these things: 1. Who are you today? 2. What do you do? 3. What do you want to achieve in your life? 4. What's stopping you? 5. Why are you allowing that to stop you? 6. Will you look back one day and be happy with your life? 7. Can you tell me as of current something that you can truly say you're proud of? 8. What is the biggest change you want to make? 9. Who impacts you - meaning who is your role model? 10. Why are they your role model - what did they do? Just some food for thought - there are some days where I wish I could be a public speaker honestly LOL! Lift you up when your spirits are down. And provide you with a different perspective - a different way of looking at something. I always try to look at the cup half full. To see the good in everything and everyone. It's something I have always done even when there is so many around us who do not. Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! Hey Guys,
FINAL WALKTHROUGH TIME! I am about 20% through on the final pass with editing the new release! In the coming weeks I will be name dropping what this novel actually is :) This is the fantasy novel - not Unforeseen's sequel ;) we aren't quite there yet LOL! I have an idea of what I want the cover art to look like but I haven't actually sat down and made it yet so that will also be another task in the near future. Unfortunately I had to say that taking that month or so off really set me back and I am trying to get myself back on track in time to meet my December deadline. The good news is that I have the last two weeks off of the year so hopefully that will be enough time for me to buckle my seat and drive this car home! In other news I want you to stop and think for a moment what does the word relationship mean to you? How about marriage? What about vows? It's so crazy to me that half of us have dealt with divorce whether that be currently or in your past. Back in the day this wasn't an option and nowadays we would rather use this as a first resort rather than a last one. Just remember that you are not broken because of this. You will get past this and you will come out on the other side better than you were before. Knowing exactly who you are, what you stand for, and what you want. And not just out of a life with someone else but just for you. I know right now it may seem hard and your life may not look pretty and you might not feel good but with time it will get better and begin to turn around. And then one day you'll know why it didn't work out. This is your life too just as much as your partners so you need to make sure you're going to be happy with it - in it. And if you're not then make it change! It's not too late! You shouldn't have to settle or fold. Try and stay positive through the hard times - a rainstorm doesn't last forever my friends. Eventually the raindrops stop falling, the clouds open up, and you'll find that the sky is beautiful as the sunshine warms your face. Some take some deeps breaths because when that day comes that is your day. Sundays side notes I listened to who I thought was a motivational speaker today it was a short one minute clip of one of his sessions but the thing that caught my attention was when he said this, "There's some stuff you've gone through that you said why in the world did this happen? It's the only thing that would make you move. But he left, he left me at the alter. God said there's some things I allow because it's the only thing that will make you move. If we are going to get to the palace, to the purpose I have for you - there's no way you would've left that if I would've just told you. You're too comfortable. You're too committed to your list. And God said they had to walk out. They had to leave, you had to get denied. I needed you over here - to give you a vision." - Pastor Michael Todd I also saw a girl who wrote, "It's not my loss. I tried my best, followed my heart and cared about you at your lowest. But you let go of such an amazing thing we had. You let go of the girl who was ready to give you the world." Sometimes I find that hearing things like this from others or reading certain things that relate...help. You're not alone in this - and don't you ever forget that. Stay safe && as always, I appreciate ya! Hey everyone,
Where did the time ago? I can't believe it's December already! I feel like we all just took our Christmas decorations down wishing it lasted a little longer only to be putting them back up again. I've heard many people tell me that I should celebrate this year even though I am going through the split. To not let it be taken away from me. I don't think it's being stolen from me - I just don't think I'm going to be in the mood to put up lights and the tree and everything else that comes along with this special holiday. I think I just want a year off - like the Kranks - let's skip Christmas and go on a trip - a cruise to the Caribbean anyone? Maybe in my dreams. Speaking of Tim Allen I watched The six wives of Henry Lefay recently and it was hilarious I would recommend you testing it out if you're looking for a comedy. It was on free on ondemand which is always a plus! Stay safe out there && as always, I appreciate ya! |
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